Bitches Gotta Eat Too: Rabbit Pate

When I mentioned making this, a lot of people asked me to post the recipe. Rabbit liver is pretty easy to find here in Costa Rica, I’m sure it is in certain parts of the states too, but you can pretty much make this with any kind of liver you’d like. Rabbit liver is just very mild compared to something like beef liver, so maybe try to go with something like calf/veal liver or amp up the spices if you use beef liver.

Rabbit Pate

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb/500 g of rabbit liver
  • 1 small onion, finely diced (I used one of the little brown ones that is shallot sized)
  • 3 gloves of garlic, minced (or more if you can stand it)
  • 1/2 tsp nutmeg
  • tiny pinch of cinnamon (optional)
  • 1/2 cup/150 g butter, softened (I used salted because all butter here is salted, though less so than in the states)
  • 4 tbsp gin
  • 1/2 tsp oregano or whatever other herb(s) you’d like. Try to use stuff that will play off of the gin.
  • salt/black pepper
  • In order to amp up the garlic aspect and add a little more fat, I also added about a tbsp of what is essentially garlic-flavored margarine. They sell a bunch of flavors of this here, chicken, garlic, onion etc. I don’t think they really have it in the states, but if they do it would probably be near the bouillon and such.

Directions:

  1. Boil the liver for about 7 minutes. Watch it pretty carefully, you don’t want it to overcook.
  2. Saute the onion and garlic in a tiny bit of butter or olive oil until they’re soft.
  3. Add livers, onion, garlic to a bowl and mash with a fork or potato masher (or use a food processor/blender/meat grinder. I am old school.)
  4. Add the butter, nutmeg, cinnamon, and whatever other spices you chose and blend it all together by your preferred method.
  5. Add the gin.
  6. Taste it, and then add salt and pepper to your taste.
  7. Stick it in a covered container and chill it in the fridge for at least 2 hours, but overnight is better.

That’s it. It’s super simple. You can use this method to make pate out of all sorts of things. I’ve made pate out of whole sardines this way, changed the gin out for bourbon and used chicken livers and honey….there are really all sorts of variations.

<begin rant>

And just as a side note, because I’ve seen people be confused about this several times on facebook and such, pate is NOT foie gras. I’m just going to paste a comment I made last night:

To the person above saying ducks were force fed: pate is pate, it’s a spread made from livers of ducks, rabbit, pigs, etc that are fed normally, and killed normally for other kinds of food. Foie gras is produced by force feeding in France according to strict laws governing that, though it can, and sometimes is, produced by normal feeding outside of France. It is just the straight up fattened liver. You can make pate out of foie but a majority of pate is straight up liver and is absolutely no different than eating meat, and in fact makes use of a piece of meat that most people are loathe to eat and just throw away. I made a delicious pate out of rabbit liver the other day and I assure you, no rabbits were subjected to “gavage” in order for me to do so.

People clearly have a problem with foie, and that’s fine. We all make our own decisions about what we’re ok with as far as the food we eat goes. I do think the knee jerk reactions I’ve seen people having regarding it are pretty over the top and display a clear lack of understanding about what eating meat, dairy, and eggs in the United States actually means. I don’t really see how gavage is any worse than factory farming, or egg farming where male chicks are routinely ground up while alive. Think buying “free-range” or “cage-free” absolves you of that? Yeah, not really. I don’t want to turn this into a debate, because this is really just a cooking site, but food, especially in the U.S., is absolutely fraught with problems and the choices that we make regarding the things we eat should be made with the full knowledge of what they mean for the health of animals, the environment, and ourselves. We should all try to be as informed as possible about what we eat and how we eat, and if you want to get judgey about other people’s food choices, at least have your facts straight.

This is a link to a great video and article discussing the protections that farm animals currently have. SPOILER ALERT: none. I clearly eat meat, and I eat a lot of it, but I was a vegetarian for this very reason for 5 years, and these matters are still incredibly important to me.

</end rant>

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San Diego Cocktail

the proprietor of the Whistle Stop has presented a drink that represents our finest burg.

it’s bluish. ok greenish. it’s refreshing if you’re thirsty. reminiscent of gin without gin due to the combo of bitters & soda. cut your palate with a side of whisky if you’re not a palate-newb.

and yes, the vid here.

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Stand mixer up in this mofo

For a wedding present I got a sweet motherfucking Kitchenaid stand mixer. It’s like an awesome Harley Davidson for my kitchen. It looks exactly like this.

So I’ve been doing shit with it. First I made some bread. It came out all right. It’s a sandwich bread recipe, and it was a bit dense and chewy, though it was very tasty. Apparently my kitchen lights are yellow, so it looks like I was cooking in a pissbowl. I assure you I was not.

I had misadjusted my mixing-bowl attachment height or some shit (here’s how to fix that), which led to everything I mixed in there having to be in a little longer, as it was not picking everything up from the bottom of the bowl. Whatevs, it was my first try, and it came out tasty enough, if dense. Short of dwarven battle bread, but only by a little. I didn’t destroy my expensive tooths at least. I made it into grilled cheese.

Next I made some cupcakes from that hardened criminal Martha Stewart’s vanilla cupcake recipe. I didn’t have any god damned confectioner’s sugar, of course, so I tried various bullshit to confectionize my regular sugar (which apparently can be done) and then gave up and just put Nutella on top of it. One note: Don’t use extra large eggs if the recipe calls for large eggs. Follow the fuckin’ recipe exactly! I never have learned that. The cupcakes were tasty but a little eggy, leading to a cornbread kinda feel. Still, we wolfed em down like teenagers eating the weed bag while getting pulled over. But happier, and less arresty-er.

Night before last I made fish tacos, with beer batter and a fucking awesome mayo-yogurt sauce…so fucking good! I broke out the deep fryer for those bitches.

 

Important Note: While making cupcakes, I ate the hell out of that batter raw. You think I’m afraid of salmonella? I am so awesome that salmonella gets me

 

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Bitches Gotta Eat Too: ‘NOG *EDIT*

Even though I’m pretty lactose intolerant, I am one of those crazy people that loves eggnog. Until last night, however, I had never experienced the entirely different beast that is fresh, homemade eggnog. With real, fresh, raw eggs. Jesus christ it is good. I swear, even if you don’t like eggnog, you will probably like this. It’s nothing like the stuff out of cartons. Not artificially thick, hell, not even really thick at all. Just creamy, and frothy, and sort of like alcoholic melted ice cream. Or frothy horchata.

I used Alton Brown’s un-coocked recipe, which you can find here with a few adjustments. First off, I used goat’s milk instead of regular cow milk because a)I like it better and b)like I said, I’m lactose intolerant and I can actually digest goat milk. *EDIT* I also used a full liter of the milk, which is a little more than twice what it calls for. I think it was a wise decision as it was just the right amount of sweet and it also gives you twice the amount of ‘nog. *EDIT*  I also added cinnamon, cause uh, it’s better that way. Rum instead of bourbon, and way more of it, because it’s cheaper here and tastes basically the same all things said. And I did all of the beating of the egg portions by hand, because I don’t have a mixer, and because really, your poor widdle arm can’t handle beating egg whites? Pssssh.

This shit was so good that I drank over half a liter of it. Normally I can handle a small mug of eggnog. Next time I want to make a batch adding coconut milk. Cause seriously, everything is better with coconut.

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Bitches Gotta Eat Too: And it has gotten easier…

So we’ve been in our apartment for a month now and things have gotten significantly easier on the eating front. We’ve figured out the best places to shop for certain things, figured out that Costa Rican meat, especially pork, is fucking delicious, and have added several more things to our growing list of meals. Which is good since we eat all of our meals at home. The two that I am all about are fried avocado tacos and pupusas.

Avocado Tacos
I blatantly stole the idea for the tacos from Disco Volante in Oakland but I like mine a shit ton better. You’re basically replacing the meat in a taco with avocado that has been battered and fried until nice and crispy outside and hot and creamy inside. Yes, I did just say that. I used Masa flour, since we don’t do gluten and I have it around, and just slice avocado like I normally would, put the slices in a bowl with a beaten egg, coat them well, and then roll them in masa seasoned with salt and pepper until they’re coated really well. Drop them into some hot oil and fry them until they’re nice and crispy. A deep fryer would be awesome but I just use about half an inch of sunflower oil in a heavy skillet. The first time I did it I also battered and fried slices of habañero peppers but now I just add a drizzle of  habañero oil that I made once they’re done since I’m sick of having burny hands that I can’t touch anything with. (Also they call habañeros “Panama Chiles” here. No idea.)

Once you’ve got the avocado all done, stick them in some steamed corn tortillas with whatever else you like and nom the fuck out of them. It’s nice to balance the avocado out with something crisp, so we’ve been using match-sticked chayote, but raw cabbage or jicama would also work well. Beans and sour cream, fresh squeeze of lime, you’re set.

Pupusas

I’m just going to link to a couple of tutorials that I consulted instead of trying to explain it, because honestly it sounds more complicated than it really is.

This one is good because it has pictures of the actual ball making/flattening process but it uses rice flour, and I used masa/corn flour so I can’t tell you if it works well or not.

This one is basically what I did. It is so easy and they come out so awesomely good that we had them two nights in a row. It’s slightly time consuming, but if you have a big griddle pan and one person doing the frying while the other makes them it goes quickly.

And since I’m me, we didn’t do incredibly traditional fillings but all of them were delicious.

  • crumbled pork chorizo and sauteed celery greens (basically the leaves from the tops of celery. These are my new favorite thing)
  • mild white cheese (here it’s “Rico”, it’s sort of like a combo of jack and mozarella) and shredded zucchini. Contrary to the first link, I didn’t have to shred it the day before. Just shred it, salt it a bit, and put it in a few layers of paper towel or a kitchen towel and squeeze out all the water over the sink.
  • cream cheese and chopped habañeros. I was going for a sort of japapeño popper thing with this. It was AWESOME
  • shredded firm goat cheese and greens or zucchini
  • combinations of all of the above

If the dough is cracking, it’s not wet enough. I found it easiest to add any extra water I would need to it in small batches as I was working with it. Also, I kept my hands pretty much coated in olive oil the whole time I was making them, because you don’t want the dough to stick to your hands and peel off of the pupusa. After that it’s pretty much ruined. And don’t try to fill them with anything too wet or liquidy. I tried to use some fresh goat cheese I made that is sort of ricotta like and it did not work out well at all. The dough just doesn’t want to stick to it.

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OKONOMIYAKI

Because fuck yeah, that’s why.

This is the guy’s channel on YouTube.

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Mac and cheese *Edit*

Edit: For some reason I didn’t see the link to the mac and cheese recipe I posted right over there =>>

For years mac & cheese meant Thanksgiving to me. I was a vegetarian for six years, and my mom wanted to know what she could make for me, so I half-jokingly said “Just make some mac and cheese, that’ll be fine, and I can have whatever else”. Little did I know that it would be propagated among the family, and extended family, to the point where anyone who thought I may come by would have a big Stouffer’s m&c dish sitting out. My mom had the decency to make her own, awesome, homemade mac’n'cheese casserole, a legendary creation that weighed in at 15lbs or so and sustained my brother and I through long afternoons of latchkey life as well as cabin-bound living off camping with not-cook grandpa.
I can’t exactly cook one up, but I believe I have some pics somewhere. I’ll add them later.
Here’s Alton Brown’s method.

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Bitches Gotta Eat Too: In Costa Rica! (And let me tell you, it is difficult)

So I live in Costa Rica now. And one thing is fucking abundantly clear here: THEY LOVE FAST FOOD. And processed food. And canned food. And bread. And desert. And basically everything bad for you and very little good for you. At least in the Central part of the country.*

After being here for a week I was totally anemic and just felt completely run down and awful. We were staying in hotels and hostels and didn’t have access to a kitchen, so we were eating out at almost every meal. I can’t tell you how difficult it is to get any sort of vegetables or a meal that isn’t comprised of meat + 10 kinds of starches when you eat out here.

Once we got a kitchen I sort of thought that would all go away, but grocery stores are mostly just processed and canned food, a lot of which mimics the kind of shitty “American” style food they seem to be into here. Seriously every grocery store we’ve been in has half of an entire aisle devoted to canned tuna. And then there’s a tiny bit of produce, half of which is imported American fruit like over-sized and flavorless apples, grapes, etc. In a country that has amazing fruit! Clearly, we need to check out some farmers markets here, but there aren’t any in our town and the ones in cities around here are only on specific days/times, and we need to eat every day so you know….

Weirdly enough, the Walmarts here have amazing produces sections full of awesome local fruits and vegetables. So right now that’s been where we’ve been stocking up on stuff. It’s still been a challenge figuring out meals, and we end up eating a lot of the same stuff, or variations on the same things, but at least I don’t feel like I’m dying anymore. And it’s all good, fresh, and non-processed. This will make my veggie/vegan friends cringe, but meat, eggs, and dairy here are all really high quality, really fresh, and really cheap. So aside from going through a carton of eggs every other day, and making full use of our roasting pans, we’ve been doing a lot of:

-Black beans, both whole and refried, both of which I make from scratch
-Corn tortillas
-Quesadillas
-Tortilla chips
-Avocados for things like avocado tacos or in salads (which are not cheap here, at least not in stores)
-Brown rice
-Salads
-Pico de gallos
-Chayote in things like pico de gallo or just chopped raw and added to tacos. Apparently all of the chayote that is imported to Europe is grown here. I forgot how much I like the stuff, and it’s especially good in pico de gallo as a substitute for tomatoes. The crisp sweetness of it really comes out.
-Any cooking greens we can find, which so far isn’t much. Right now we’re stuck with spinach, cabbage, and mustard greens, and of the three only cabbage is available at most stores.
-Fried plantains, tostones style (though here they call them patacones)

That’s seriously about it.

We are also dealing with a small fridge (about four feet tall) with the freezer in the same compartment as the main storage area, so it has a tendency to freeze things.
IMG_5697
On the right there.

And an electric stove, which I haven’t had to deal with since I was about 8. The oven works surprisingly well though.
IMG_5700
On the left there

This is really the first time I’ve been sort of at a loss for cooking ideas. So if any of you have any, PLEASE pass them along. I guess I should mention too that neither of us eat gluten so that’s a bit limiting as far as things like sandwiches and such go.

And yeah don’t get me started on the liquor situation. Mostly cause I’m going to do a post about that soon enough. Ha.

*Last year when I visited here I mostly stayed on the Caribbean side, which is less developed and has its own regional cuisine, and there was a ton of great, fresh, healthy food and great fruit and produce. And no fast food.

Posted in Bitches gotta eat too | 5 Comments

Sexy cooking

The term “sexy cooking” was in my head. Ergo…whatever happened on this page. Am I weird in that I don’t find basketball-sized breasts attractive?

Sarah Palin cooks a brownie dick. I totally just typed those words.

While not traditionally sexy, if I were appropriately organized in my downstairs area I’d be all over these guys.

This scene basically gets my wife halfway through divorce papers. I’m happy it’s not longer.

This came up when I searched for “hot chef”. Nice.

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Whoa! Brian Posehn’s little brother is awesome

Tell me the resemblance isn’t scary.

How to Peel a Head of Garlic in Less Than 10 Seconds from SAVEUR.com on Vimeo.

I ain’t been posting shiiiiiiit but I’ve been cooking all the same. I came across the easiest fish recipe ever and it tasted awesome, made it last night, got laid. How’s about that, huh? Ten minute prep, 15 minute cook, serve with a side and a nice white wine and boom, shit is on.

I made a reasonably successful Mac & Cheese, you know how I roll. 2lbs of cheese, 4 pats of butter, a sweet-ass roux. Didn’t take any pics tho. On the casserole front in general I’ve been killing it lately, my mom gave me an intimidatingly-sized and -shaped zucchini from her garden, and I turned it into a layer of lower-fat lasagna with chicken sausage. I maybe have a pic at home, if I do I’ll post.

I made a brew on Sunday with my friend chance, a Chocolate Russian Imperial Stout, to be specific, adapted from an extract recipe from Hydrobrew. Great shop for brewers or hydroponics chili farmers. Yeah, right, potheads. Here’s a quick vid of it bubbling away when fermentation started.

Should be delicious, and most importantly around 9-9.5% alcohol, so this shit will fuck you up. That’s my general modus operandy and shit. So take that into consideration.

Posted in Cheap food, Don't Starve, Get Laid, Stuff that gets you drunk | Leave a comment